Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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