We won't sleep together?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
