i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize