It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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