I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The Olympian is in my bed
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
