They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
