Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You're a waste of cheezeits
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
