I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
