How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
