would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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