sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
