I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
