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I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You ruined the universe
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
