I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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