my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
