Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
