tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
