i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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