when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
