I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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