Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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