I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
