Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
