"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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