I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
