His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
