My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Why is there bacon in the couch?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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