roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
