"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
