He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
