That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize