tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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