He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
