Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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