I bet he comes in French.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
