The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize