found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
