sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
