matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
