is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
