I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
