I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
