Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize