Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
