Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
