unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
