you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
