I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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