I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you didnt know i had herpes?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
