Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
