These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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