What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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