This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
