They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
