Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
