hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
