I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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