I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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