Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
