I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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