I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
