My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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