I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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