Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Randomize
