Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize