Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize