That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
