Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No subtext here. People are naked.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize