have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
He better not be in your backpack
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
